A Post Few & Far (In the War) Between.

Some people have asked why I don't write more often.
A lot of people have complained that I don't write enough.

Sure, my amusing and absurd posts are fun, but I get the feeling that some people look to this blog to learn more about me as a person through posts such as Shut up About Hating Edmonton, or Why Did You Kill My Favourite Radio Station?

I recommend you stop doing that.

My reason for posting ridiculous and forgettable meme-esque things I have found on the internet is a very deliberate decision. I am no longer in the habit of taking my expressions to the blogosphere for people who may or may not care. I am no longer 22 with an aching desire for the world to understand me. I am no longer in such melodramatic pain and social anguish at the fear of rejection and failure that I must find an outlet for discovery and connection to ease the impending depression and possible (probable?) drinking binge.

I have other areas for that now.
And they are less in demand.

I now have a bit of a change in direction in my life and the way I wish to create the world I reflect. I AM ridiculous. I DO appreciate the absurd. I AM sassy and superficial and subjective about the idiocy of human relations sometimes. And this blog, as boring and offensive and cleverly contrived and self deprecating and disgusting and delightful as it can be sometimes, is the absolute most authentic way I can reflect myself to you all right now.

This blog IS me.

Sure, there may not be the verbose diatribes about human connection and social responsibility and romantic retaliation that I was a bit famous for back in the Arbitrary Comfort days, but I am just not that person anymore. I have chosen to express myself in the sound-bite exerpts & snapshots of enjoyment that I experience throughout my day and hope some of you will dig it as well and will find yourself smiling amongst the files of deadlines, task bars of red alerts, date books of obligations, and long commutes that just seem to get longer. This is the way I live now. For the tiny moments of awesome.

When shit gets heavy, I take it to my rock of a boyfriend Greg, or my loving-without-judgment family, or friends like the brilliantly misunderstood Tiv Lavrie, or my absolute favourite pub The Crown & Anchor, where Marko and the staff of filthy mouthed, big hearted, sex driven heathens make me feel safer and more free to be me than any therapists office or counceling centre ever could.

And this allows me to come back here and laugh with abandon and cry with compassion and love with altruism. Because now, more than ever before, it's just not always about me. A shock to some, I am sure, but a long overdue rite of passage.

So, please do not misunderstand my intention with this particular blog. The posts have intention; they are not just an obligatory means to an apathetic end. I just feel that sharing with you the email post that got sent to me yesterday and made me laugh until I almost peed (not even kidding) is a much more appropriate way to show you that my life, while not the most verbose at times, really does look like this:

I do hope you are as amused as I am. I do wish you guys all the best in whatever ways you are choosing to create yourselves. It is a fun and scary journey. and if you need some atrocity or absurdity, you all know where you can come.

Love you guys.
And thanks for everything.

What Men Really Need to Know.

1. Never ask a woman if she wants to have sex by asking her if she wants to have sex.

2. It is more important to have good health than good health insaurance.

3. Don't bluff more than once in a poker game with friends.

4. When one of the big bosses at work unexpectedly says something really cheery and friendly to you, he means absolutely nothing by it. Not even if he's your father.

5. Wear as much black as you can. It makes you look slimmer and cooler. But avoid black jeans.

6. When someone in your family is going through a divorce, always side with the blood relative.

7. Pointedly praising something unusual a person owns or has done will make you appear far smarter in his eyes than a 10-minute discourse on world events.

8. Yes, speak softly and carry a big stick. But don't mumble. And don't swing the stick.

9. The man who can't dance, can't converse, and can't provide psychological support to a woman is only half a man; the other half can't cook, can't clean, and badly wants a drink.

10. Do not get a visible tattoo larger than your penis.

11. Be aware that most people are operating on a very condensed version of the 10 Commandments: the part about murder.

12. There will be times when good neighbors are more important than a good neighborhood.

13. Telling a woman, "You're a great person," is taken as the lead-in to a confession that you don't love her.

14. Trying to "teach someone a lesson" never works.

15. Easy on the mayo.

16. Be careful about publicly discussing your hobbies, as most hobbies strike people as somewhat pathetic: most notably, collecting stamps, comics, coins or anything else, bird-watching, bowling, rockhounding, spelunking, table tennis, poetry, dog shows, chat rooms, polka music, yoga, herpetology, marathon running, and religion. The only hobbies you can safely own up to when among people you need to impress are fly-fishing and golf.

17. Never buy a woman a gift at a kiosk.

18. Never wear clothing that your coworkers avoid—the bow tie, the suspenders, the green suit. While you might think you're expressing your individuality, your colleagues will perceive it as a rejection of their group culture; you'll become a person who probably can't be trusted.

19. Do not bring lunch to work.

20. Rainbows are God's way of reminding us that beauty is an optical illusion, except in sports cars.

21. You will never become a rock star.

22. As you go through life, you will discover that more and more of the subjects you studied in college are useless, with the exception of abnormal psychology.

23. Never make any sort of generalization concerning gender, even if it's so true God himself would back you up.

24. Telling a person in management, "I'm a bit of a philosopher," means you're a total loser.

25. When running in the park on a hot day, do not take off your shirt if you are a really hairy sonofabitch.

26. Never hesitate to admit the error of your ways when under oath in federal court.

27. Always wear freshly laundered or pressed clothing to work. Even one wrinkle will have certain coworkers creating—and perhaps sharing—scenarios of debauchery or financial distress.

28. Do not say hi to a perfect stranger in any town with a population over 2,000. The friendly gesture in Beaver Dam Falls is a scary act of aggression in Toronto.

29. Always imply, in every possible way, that the person you're talking to is smarter, better-looking, slimmer, and more successful than they really are.

30. When choosing a bottle of wine to bring to a dinner party, spend between 15 and 20 dollars. That's for a bottle, not a gallon.

31. Do not come on to the new female pastor, unless she winks at you during the sermon.

32. When dating, an ounce of appearance is worth a pound of substance.

33. The way a woman looks, acts, and talks says nothing about how good she is in bed.

34. It is okay to admit in conversation that your accountant used his imagination to save you $500 in taxes, but never admit you saved 5 bucks by refilling the vodka bottle in the minibar with water.

35. Never get into a pissing match via e-mail. If he forwards, you lose.

36. Never suggest to another person at the gym that he's not working hard enough to accomplish anything.

37. People who live in glass houses are idiots.

38. Going insane while watching a hockey game is a sign of mental health.

39. When a man meets another man, bonding begins when they both say things they hope no one else hears.

40. The person who sincerely says to you, "I want to get to know you better," is a person you probably don't want to know at all.



From blog post: http://arbitral.livejournal.com/233787.html

LiveJournal.

My LiveJournal account (http://arbitral.livejournal.com) was opened in 2002, if I remember correctly.
I had come back from Victoria with a pocket full of fortunes and a heart full of regret.
Being the one voted most likely to weep over a boy than whip his ass, I commenced the drawn out process of wading through my sorrows and drafting up some resolution.

This went on for years.

While some of it was happy, most of it was my way of working through issues.  There were moments of drama and sap and anger and resentment, punctuated by some comments from others who found their way to my page (some not so welcomed, but ultimately appreciated).  People who knew me only through my journal must have thought me suicidal.  But the release and safe place to manage my confusion was not just a luxury, but a necessity if I was to find my peace at that time in my life.

It worked.  I think.

But after a few years, I began to ignore it for I did not really require the release from my life.  In fact, I was immersed in the bliss of it all like never before, and writing the days events just felt ridiculous, as it distracted me from the awesome stuff that was happening, almost constantly.  I started to fall into the much more social and interactive world of Facebook and that suited my pace.  It still does.  But there was a nagging feeling that I "should" be writing more often, and it hung around like a friend from high school who still thinks it's 1995.  It was time to break it off.

But I don't want to stop having a place to write.
I just don't need a place to "work through" issues anymore.
I have found new ways to do that.

So here I am.  My big idea was to cease the withered rendezvous with my LiveJournal and begin anew.  Begin a place that was not so rife with history and not so deadened with past sadness and remorse.  A place for bright memories and enlightened reflections.

Will I keep up the writing?
Who the hell knows.
But I certainly like the idea of knowing if I have the inclination, the wee blog is here.
Like Arbitrary Comfort before him, In the War Between will hang back, look longingly at my wasted time, and ask for my attention.

But this is attention I won't so much mind paying.