April 30, 2012

Beautiful Before & After.

I miss these guys.

Michael Madsen vs Star Jones.

WHCS- Kimmel Style.

National Honesty Day.

Things I have a hard time doing:

- not crying at something adorable at least once a day
- chugging a beer
- getting a pedicure
- allowing a typo to stand in an email, post, or tweet
- letting people completely leave my life
- suffering fools silently
- typing on an iPhone
- waking up
- listening to Tom Cochrane
- laughing "like a lady"
- Q tipping my ears without coughing
- not putting kittens heads in my mouth
- drinking white wine
- taking my vitamins every day
- remembering to plug my iPhone and iPad in so they don't die on me
- sleeping without Greg giving me lil' arm rubs
- saying no when someone will be disappointed
- calling people back
- making my bed every day
- not looking people in the eye and smiling at them when going for walks
- not drinking chocolate milk too fast
- living without kitties

April 10, 2012

CBC's Comment Thread Regarding the Transgender Beauty Pageant Applicant.

"Mee, I did something bad this morning."
"What did you do?"
"I.. I started participating in the CBC's comment thread about that trangender applicant for the shitty beauty pageant."
"Are you starting shit on the internet again?"


I need a coffee.

April 7, 2012

"You're not paying enough Attention to me."

Do you want to know the secret of Twitter?


Take the time to connect with people based on what they have said to make you smile. Read an article. Make you think. Drove traffic.

Then post something that will make them take pause. Or investigate. Or smile. Or laugh.

Stop asking for retweets. Enough of the blatant celebrity bating.
They'll get to you if you are worth getting to.
So will everyone else.

Social media and networking isn't about getting the recognition you so crave and deem you desire.
It is about giving others the appreciation you are now in the position to recognize.
There is no ME in Twitter.

Complain all you want.
We all know what you are really whining about.


Perhaps they should make these for the fucking parents.

Take it Easy, Big Fella.

Someone Got Carried Away with the Liquify Tool.

Cultural Differences get FUBAR.

Well played.

I loved that class, too.

Greg would wear this.

No question.

"Is that a dragon on your dick?"

"For what purpose?"
"What do you mean?"

For the people who consistently complain when we get freak snow storms in April...

... take a seat.

Google Maps FTW?


"I hugged a man in his underwear."

"I spent the day at Chicago’s Pride Parade. Some friends and I, with The Marin Foundation, wore shirts with “I’m Sorry” written on it. We had signs that said, “I’m sorry that Christians judge you,” “I’m sorry the way churches have treated you,” “I used to be a bible-banging homophobe, sorry.” We wanted to be an alternative Christian voice from the protestors that were there speaking hate into megaphones. 
What I loved most about the day is when people “got it.” I loved watching people’s faces as they saw our shirts, read the signs, and looked back at us. Responses were incredible. Some people blew us kisses, some hugged us, some screamed thank you. A couple ladies walked up and said we were the best thing they had seen all day. I wish I had counted how many people hugged me. One guy in particular softly said, “Well, I forgive you.” 
Watching people recognize our apology brought me to tears many times. It was reconciliation personified. 
My favorite though was a gentleman who was dancing on a float. He was dressed solely in white underwear and had a pack of abs like no one else. As he was dancing on the float, he noticed us and jokingly yelled, “What are you sorry for? It’s pride!” I pointed to our signs and watched him read them. 
Then it clicked. 
Then he got it. 
He stopped dancing. He looked at all of us standing there. A look of utter seriousness came across his face. And as the float passed us he jumped off of it and ran towards us. In all his sweaty beautiful abs of steal, he hugged me and whispered, “thank you.” 
Before I had even let go, another guy ran up to me, kissed me on the cheek, and gave me the biggest bear hug ever. I almost had the wind knocked out of me; it was one of those hugs. 
This is why I do what I do. This is why I will continue to do what I do. Reconciliation was personified. 
I think a lot of people would stop at the whole “man in his underwear dancing” part. That seems to be the most controversial. It’s what makes the evening news. It’s the stereotype most people have in their minds about Pride.
Sadly, most Christians want to run from such a sight rather than engage it. Most Christian won’t even learn if that person dancing in his underwear has a name. Well, he does. His name is Tristan. 
However, I think Jesus would have hugged him too. It’s exactly what I read throughout scripture: Jesus hanging out with people that religious people would flee from. Correlation between then and now? I think so. 

Acceptance is one thing. Reconciliation is another. Sure at Pride, everyone is accepted (except perhaps the protestors). There are churches that say they accept all. There are business that say the accept everyone. But acceptance isn’t enough. Reconciliation is. 
But there isn’t always reconciliation. And when there isn’t reconciliation, there isn’t full acceptance. Reconciliation is more painful; it’s more difficult. Reconciliation forces one to remember the wrongs committed and relive constant pain. Yet it’s more powerful and transformational because two parties that should not be together and have every right to hate one another come together for the good of one another, for forgiveness, reconciliation, unity.
What I saw and experienced at Pride 2010 was the beginning of reconciliation. It was in the shocked faces of gay men and women who did not ever think Christians would apologize to them.
What I saw and experienced at Pride 2010 was the personification of reconciliation. It was in the hugs and kisses I received, in the “thank you’s” and waves, in the smiles and kisses blown.
I hugged a man in his underwear. I hugged him tightly. And I am proud."


Photoshop Bomb by the Russian Orthodox Church.

When under fire for flaunting their wealth, the Russian Orthodox Church photoshopped out a $30,000 timepiece off the wrist of Patriarch Kirill I.
Except they forget about the reflection on the table.

Gold shines like a motherfucker, Gentlemen.

April 3, 2012

"We're Rockin' this bitch..."

It's been a while since I have posted anything. Consider it a good sign that I have been busy doing a savage amount of fun shit. WHO GOES OUT THIS MUCH IN MARCH?

Notably, after 20 years of adoration, I finally got a chance to see one of my  faves, Sir Ben Folds.

And he improved.
Someone shouted out "Rock this bitch!"
And he did. THEY did.
The Edmonton Symphony Orchestra was astounding.
The entire show was one of the best I have ever seen. I am so glad that, even though not a huge fan of Folds, Greg was able to come and share that with me. It was also excellent to know that just a few rows closer to the stage sat Shawn with his brother. Everyone that should have been with me was. Including a sweet guy from Calgary that sat beside me having the absolute time of his life.

That being said, the ever lovely Lindsey Walker and I have a date to see Kathleen Edwards on Monday and I am simultaneously excited and relieved. Greg had me convinced that he left it too long and the tickets were sold out. I almost keyed his car.
I have never missed a show since the release of Failer and I am certainly not starting now. Greg waited just long enough before I started selling off his comics to pay some dude named Ned on Kijiji. Perhaps some decadent Steak Tartar at Accent before the show?

Man, my life can be beautiful.

You can always tell the birth of spring in Edmonton between the sifts of snow by the way people begin to talk to each other... in excited, anticipatory tones. So many music shows. Comedy. Art shows all over our lives. We can barely keep our calenders straight.
"Which art show is this? Who is hosting this?"
 As Greg has said, when it comes to much needed R & R, Monday/Tuesday is our weekend. Starting Wednesday evening, we don't stop. And it never seems to get old. We do surround ourselves with some amazing people.

It is hard not to be grateful.

Aside: The annual Pirate Party/CF fundraiser/ Greg birthday bash is being held at the Artery this year, May 20th, and some pretty excellent people have agreed to be a part of it.

Of course they have.

Love you too, Marko.