June 25, 2012

The Vows Of Those Who Are Not Married. And May Never Be.

"Greg and Sheena have not come together to make a solemn promise or to exchange a sacred vow based upon antiquated tradition."

I have never been a marriage girl, but I have always had the heart of a child, and the devotion of a warrior. I have imagined what Greg and I might say to those who have witnessed our love these past 4 years, and what vows without vows might sound like.
A wedding without a wedding.
A ceremony without tradition.
A declaration from one beautiful wandering mess to another...



Our love for each other: an active noticement to our truth; to declare our choice to live and partner and grow together- out loud and in the presence of friends and family and foe, out of our desire that we will all come to experience a very real and intimate part of our joy, and thus make it even more powerful. Even more joyful. For all of us.


We love in the further hope that our bond will help bring us all closer together. If you are reading this tonight with a spouse or partner, let this be a reminder- a rededication- of your own loving bond. And how you have influenced us to love more, listen harder, forgive easier, and embrace more often.

It is my firm belief that we are not entering into our relationship for reasons of security... that the only real security is not in owning or possessing, nor in being owned or possessed.  Not in demanding or expecting, and not even in hoping, that what we think we need in life will be supplied by the other... but rather, in knowing that everything we need in life- all the love, all the wisdom, all the insight, all the power, all the knowledge, all the understanding, all the nurturing, all the compassion, and all the strength- is present. And already resides here. With us. Whether we remember that or not.
We are not together in the other in hopes of getting these things, but in hopes of giving these things, that the other might have them in even greater abundance. 

It is my firm understanding we have not entered into our relationship as a means of in any way limiting, controlling, hindering, or restricting each other from any true expression and honest celebration of that which is the highest and best from within us, including each others' love of life, love of people, love of creativity, love of work, or any aspect of our being which genuinely represents us, and brings us joy. Including Greg's facial hair and my love of Twitter.

I have said that I do not see marriage as producing obligations but rather as providing opportunities. Opportunities for growth, for full self-expression, for lifting our lives to their highest potential, for healing every false thought or small idea we may have ever had about ourselves & others, and for ultimate reunion with humanity through the communion of our two souls and what that may inspire in others. A journey through life with one you love as an equal partner, sharing equally both the authority and the responsibilities inherent in any partnership, bearing equally what burdens there be, basking equally in the glories.

For love cannot be possessed, nor can it be restricted. And the soul's desire can never be manipulated, can never be entrapped. (Trust me, I have tried.)

So, to be my partner, my lover, my friend, and my confident, I announce and declare my intention to give you, Greg, my deepest friendship and love. Not only when your moments are high, but when they are low. Not only when you remember clearly Who You Really Are, but when you forget. Not only when you are acting with love, but when you are selfish and rude and dismissive and thoughtless, or during whatever moments of darkness that may come. And in light of recent events, we know that they will.

I recognize with full awareness that only a couple can administer the sacrament of dedication to each other, and only a couple can sanctify it. Neither a church, nor any power vested by the government, nor jewelry, nor social pressures, can grant us the authority to declare what only two hearts can declare, and what only two people can make real. WE make our own rules here. And we can break the shit out of those rules whenever we see fit. Even if just because one Saturday night we get drunk and just feel like it.

May those who are nearest to us be constantly enriched by the beauty and the bounty of our love for one another, may our adoration be a source of joy in our life together that serves ourselves, our loved ones, and the world, and may our days together be good and long upon the Earth. 

I love you. I miss you. I am Yours.

~ Sheena

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Whoa. This changes everything.

Rob Christensen said...

Love... Just pure Love...

Rebecca Muz said...

The tears are streaming down my face right now.
Your words are beautiful.

Maa said...

The emotions I feel while reading this cannot be put into words.

Anonymous said...

Goddammit Sheena. Regardless of all stupid, petty bullshit past and present, my most sincere, heart-wrenching, hopeful thoughts are with you and Greg. Only love matters. Sending healing vibrations your way...J

Michael said...

Sheena,
I learned of your struggle/ordeal thru a mutual friend. As I expressed to her, I can't imagine the feelings that you are going thru, and I offer a very deep felt, profound sympathy to you during this time. Your words are raw and unapologetic, but deeply sincere. Life sucks sometimes, and you're in a valley right now. Stay strong. You touched me with your words.
Michael

PJ Fournier said...

Il n'y a que l'amour.
xox