Bird on Windshield Wiper: And Not One Shit Was Given That Day.

Inception Kitty.

Bundy 5: Ain't No Nancy Drink.

Funny like BALLS, y'all.

It's Always Sunny in Philidelphia Season 7 Promo: MAC IS FAT.

Pug Gazes into Your Soul...

... he knows the truth now.

This is What My Month Looks Like.

And I haven't added in Greg's hours for the month yet. This is just me and social life happenings. YIKES.

Marc Maron Does Dane Cook Impression on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.

Also, Dane Cook will be on an upcoming episode of Louie.  How great is that??

Horrible Bathroom for OCD Sufferers.

 

At this point I should just have a 'bathrooms' tag on my blog.

JUST: Just a Bunch of Photos of Influential Artists Doing Fascinating Things. No Biggie.

These are my faves, but to see the couch Freud used, or Marilyn Monroe on her 30th birthday, or Hemmingway kicking a can (it's awesome), go here:
http://lost.net.au/vic/?cat=47

AN ABRUPT END: James Huse Addresses Budget Cuts to the Arts in a Most Interesting Way.

The photo you see here is of a bursting rubber balloon filled with milk. It was only captured through the use of skills, equipment, facilities, training and tutorials made available through our university. It's both a celebration of all we have learned here and a visual representation of what can only be made possible through the use of university funding in all its available forms:

http://jameshuse.co.uk/anabruptend.html

These secondary images were allowed none of the privileges offered by our university, and it shows. The recent budgets cuts to creative education industries can only jeopardise the future of such creative endeavours and rather than this balloon, it may be future students creative educations coming to an abrupt end:

http://jameshuse.co.uk/anabruptend.html

Bill Maher Explains the Debt Ceiling.

 

This is What Happens When You Get on Twitter. It Takes Over Your Life.

And I thought Facebook was bad.

Ice Ice Baby - MattyBRaps feat. Vanilla Ice.

This kid is harder than Van Winkle.

No, Not ALL Meter Maids are Assbags, but This One Most Certainly.

He's a BIG ASS NIGGA ON A SCOOTER DRINKIN CAPRI SUN.

"Cool ass Nigga... on my mother fuckin' scooter... Capri Nigga..."

Louis CK on Letterman Last Night.

Just in case you weren't up until retarded o'clock in the morning like I was and you missed it.

Fair of Face.

Photo by Greg Tymofichuk.

I remember when going to the fair meant rides and junk food and heatstroke.  Now it means going to the animation exhibits, reading about prehistoric creatures, and hitting up the wine and spirit tasting presentation SIP and saying things like "That was less heady than the Shiraz wines I usually go for..."

How to Achieve Vaginal Orgasms: A Helpful Resource.

So, what's the problem?

Walking Dead Advert- Well Played.

 

I did enjoy this series immensely.

There Are Quite a Few Things I'd Rather Do Than Go to Work Today...

... this is one of them.

RIFF RAFF been stickin' with everythang ICY.

Greg and I watched this yesterday and we can't figure out if this guy's for real or not.  He has many videos where he done been had lots of fly shit knowwhatimsayin', but this is just beyond ridiculous.

He makes me ashamed of being white and that is near fucking impossible.  (That's a joke, relax.)

He seems really impressed with his spices. What's up with that?  Is that a thing now?
"I said Paprika, Bitch. You take that fuckin' lemon pepper motherfucker out ma crib, Dawg. Sheeeet."  His kitchen looks like he lives at his mother's place.

Anyway, if it's a fake, this is comic gold. That bitch didn't miss a beat. This is the best thing Chris Brown will see all day.

The Apple Store Challenge: What CAN You Get Away With at the Apple Store?

I will have to ask Greg is I can conduct my own experiment at his store.

Puddin' (Dirty Talk) Featuring the Amazing Megan Amram.

But this Puddin' has to be my favourite so far. Stop drilling, you hit oil, Eddie:

The Trailer For "Seinfeld: The Human Fund."

This holiday season prepare yourself for one man's uplifting tale of a life of crime, regret and finally...redemption through charity. The charity? The Human Fund. The man? George Costanza.

Basil in My Juice & CBC Radio 2.

 

I know I may have said this before, but if you aren't putting basil in your juice, you are missing out. Unless you don't like basil. Or juice anything. Then you are probably just bored right now.

Capital Ex Has Begun in Edmonton. I love the Carnival.

*photos courtesy of Michele Catalano.

Times Have Changed.

Bloggers found a bunch of these stacked up in Fry's Electronics today.

 

Will do, Guys.

Frederik Moelner turns off fellow patient's life-support because it 'kept him awake'

A teenager has turned off the life-support machine of a fellow hospital patient because he said he couldn't sleep with the noise.
Frederik Moelner's attempts to catch some Zs were interrupted by the noisy machine that was keeping the 76-year-old in the neighbouring bed breathing.
So the 17-year-old, who ended up in the intensive care ward after he was involved in a car crash, decided to turn it off, reports Ananova.

Luckily medical staff at the hospital in Southern Germany quickly realised what had happened, and reconnected the lucky pensioner who survived.

They then contacted local police who are now investigating.


Source: metro.co.uk

Associated Press attempts to maintain a 15 year old girl's anonymity. Poor Elise Myhre.

Oops.

Arizona police officer executes man for telling him a warrant is needed.

In the police officer's defense, the man wasn't white and that's a crime in Arizona now, is it not?

Pablo Dylan: Bob Dylan's Son. Not Even Kidding.

Whoever Designed This Washroom Lay-out Should be Slipped Laxatives.

I'd Never Seen a Turtle Penis Before This and Now I Can Not Unsee It and It May Haunt Me Forever.

Very Helpful Advice Regarding Eating Pizza.

 

Thanks.

Spiderman's Edge. No, Nothing is Original Anymore.

The History of Rap: Part Deux.

Haunted Gay Homosexual Vampire Love Spell: How to Be Retarded & Redundant and Make Money.

What?
Why are we not extinct again?

Edmonton Summer Nights.

LOOK AT ME PLANK - GENESIS BE (CHRIS BROWN Look At Me Now REMIX)

Can this trend die now?

First Clip From Season 2 of The Walking Dead. (YES, PLEASE.)

California Milk Processers' New PMS Campaign: Women are Irrational Assholes and Men are Spineless Pussies. GOT MILK???

Meet Sunny, the Sun Conure: This Video is Unbelievably Cute.

Brian Wilson's Tux: OKAY, I'LL WATCH BASEBALL ALREADY.

But seriously, this is amazing.

Charlene Strong- It Wasn't Enough.

Charlene Strong's heartbreaking story of what it meant to her to have same sex relationships recognized by the state. But it wasn't until after the love of her life had passed away. Get a box of tissues.

Zanger Rinus And Romana Chill: This Gave Me a Boner.

He has no official artist page, but does have an unofficial fan site maintained by some admirers and a Facebook fan page with more than 300 members.

UPDATE: Zanger Rinus and his videos are completely genuine. He has been doing this for years, is mentally challenged and is more amazing than I will ever be.

A Whole New World from Aladdin, if You Are Insane.

Kellycakeee is insane and awesome.

I Have a Google+ Profile.

I know.
I know.
I know.

What the hell am I going to do with yet ANOTHER social networking account?
But this may replace my Facebook account eventually. At least, that is the plan.
The problem is that a social networking site is only as good as your social circle, and, as it stands now, I have three friends.  THREE.

https://plus.google.com/117251854746243857516/posts

If you have a Google+ account for the love of God connect with me because this is just the saddest wee profile. I don't know if they have even opened up the network to the general public yet, but it is seriously lacking familiar people. I just stole tweets of mine & facebook info and slapped this together.
Now it is just sitting there embarrassing itself. Showing the world how unpopular I am.

https://twitter.com/#!/Arbitral

This may be the wave of the networking future if Google follows through with their intentions (imagine showing different profile versions to people of differing relationship status!) and nothing snags too badly, so I am hoping for the best. In the meantime, please be my Google+ friend.  I will make you pancakes and everything.

Like Louis CK. Just... just, fucking do it.

 

 

I know a lot of you didn't like 'Lucky Louie', but just know that you are wrong and get on board with this shit.  You are doing yourself a huge disservice not to.  And don't think you are being especially selective and high-brow to criticize it- that attitude was played out and transparent the second you dealt it. 
He is amazing.  Give credit where credit is due.  You can not hate Lucky Louie and like Louis CK; it was his baby. It is what all TV would be if he was in charge.  Get over yourself.  He is a great man.  Anyone who has ever met him would know this.

Damn it, how many times am I going to have to say this?  It has been 4 years now.

Your Ari of the Day: Casey Anthony Trial Outcome Is Pro-Choice WIN!

There you go.



(For fuck's sake.)

Starbucks Employees Can't Spell or Make a Decent Cup of Coffee Anymore.

Customer name?  CHRISTIAN.

Fuck me.

Arrested Development vs 30 Rock.

Yeah, well, I never said I didn't have a "type".

Casey Anthony Found Not Guilty of First Degree Murder.

And this made the injustice worth it.
(Not really, but this is pretty fucking funny.)

Canada Day Evening at Wunderbar with Awesomeness & Attractiveness.

Canada Day, Edmonton Legislature, Fireworks Display. Taken by a photographer friend.

Canada Day, the patio of Wunderbar, taken with Greg's iphone.

Canada Day, Edmonton Legislature, Fireworks display. Taken by a photographer friend.

There is no greater feeling than falling asleep knowing that you couldn't possibly find the words to express how grateful you are. All of a sudden, you are able to appreciate the poets.
I hope you all had a wonderful Canada Day with friends and family.

xo Bee

Happy Transplanniversary to the Love of my Life.

Today marks the three year anniversary of Greg's double lung transplant. Three years since the doctors told him that he may not live passed October. For those of you who may not know him, let me assure you that the world would be a far less brilliant place if he were no longer a part of it.

I met Greg (right) through John (left) when John & I dated on and off for three years. After my final break up with John, Greg said "Just because you guys aren't dating anymore doesn't mean we can't still hang out." So we did. And we never stopped.

Original Greg.

Greg is rarely happier than when he has a beer in his hand and friends around him.  I dare say people who know Greg are rarely happier than when they are around Greg and his beer.

Original Greg.

His pomp was a force to be reckon with back in the day. A few of his loves include music (punk, rockabilly, alt country...), classic trucks, worn jeans, old Chucks, times at his cabin, things made of wood, stylized art, and hot women in plaid shirts.

Original Greg. (One of my very faves.)

He spent time apprenticing at a tattoo shop pre-surgery. While he still designs tattoos for people occasionally, he was "instructed" by medical staff to not engage in any activities that would increase his chance for infection after the transplant.  This, sadly, included tattooing. He now is an upcoming Creative at Apple and spends a good deal of his free time doing graphic art projects for local bands and working towards his dream of being a comic book artist.

Original Greg.

I always thought he would have fit in well in the '50s. He reminded me of a young Johnny Cash without the flare for melodrama and cocaine.

Original Greg.

Sometimes it is easy to forget how thin he used to be when his CF was catching up to him. He always wore it well, though. He has an uncompromising sense of style.

Original Greg.

Our music trivia team name was 'The Furry Fury', due to Greg's impossibly hairy ass.  He maintains that it is the source of all of his super-powers, but I am more apt to believe his music trivia dominance had more to do with his expansive music taste and stunning album collection. Then again, his ass hair still terrifies me.

Original Greg.

Greg and his best friend Nate at the Pirate Party two months before his double lung transplant.  Every year, his brother holds a Pirate Party CF Fundraiser/ Greg's Birthday Bash at the Crown & Anchor pub.
We have raised over $20 000 for Cystic Fibrosis research.

Original Greg.

This is how we all knew Greg. He may have had a hospital bracelet on his wrist and an oxygen tank attached to his back, but he had a beer in his good hand and was the best looking bastard in the room.  It never felt right if he wasn't at the pub with us, laughing at something like it was the funniest fucking thing he'd ever heard.

Bobby said it best.

After his transplant July 1st 2008, he was a totally new man.

He was no longer the frail boy we had partied with.  And I began to see a new side of him. It didn't take long before the man emerged and things haven't been the same since.

Original Greg.

While he is a huge comic book nerd, his favourite superhero is Wolverine, and let's be honest- he does a mean Logan.

A poster I made of Greg when he went as Wolverine for Hallowe'en.. Those claws are real, by the way. They are hanging in Greg's office and they scare the shit out of me. How he got away with bringing those into work with him that day is beyond me.

Greg has country blood in him, and you can see it any time he is near a fire. This was taken at the cabin that his family had leased since he was a baby, and there has been a hole in his heart ever since the government called in the leases to expand the coal mine in the area and they destroyed it. But he loved that cabin. And it loved him.

So, Anonymous Donor, I just want to say thank you.  While your family may never know the extent of what you have done for us, we are forever grateful.  While the life you had known is now over, so is the life of exhaustion, suffocation, pain, and constant fear of death that Greg struggled with before your generous gift allowed you both to live anew... 

All events, all experiences, have as their purpose the creating of opportunity. 

Events and experiences are opportunities. 

Nothing more, nothing less. 

It is what we think of them, do about them, be in response to them, that gives them meaning.