April 30, 2011

Obama's 2011 White House Correspondents' Dinner : VIDEO.







You saw this, right? Yes? With Seth Meyers? And Donald Trump having his racist white ass being handed to him?

I suspect he will be referring to this as his fourth bankruptcy.

Love Means Never Having to Say "Clean up your side of the bed."

Now, to clarify, I am not at all big on the media stereotypes of men vs women. It is disgusting how often I am bombarded with television commercials depicting women as the anal-maniacal geniuses keeping the chaotic household together while the idiot husbands watch sports and buy sport cars they can't afford or tools they are incapable of using correctly.  It is gross and obviously inaccurate if you have ever left your house for more than six seconds.

That being said, sometimes there are glaring differences between men and women that arise in certain situations and make me smile.



This is our bed. On either side are utility shelves* with piles of stuff on them. 



This is my side, complete with a cartoon Greg drew of himself in an antique frame, a humidifier that looks like a spaceship, essential oil burner, herbal balms and sleeping aids, incense in a hand-made holder from India, my favourite books, antique suitcase with old diaries, a hat box with love items from Greg, and my Valentimes present- an iron dress frame.  Oh, and a candle.



And this... this is Greg's side. His blood pressure monitor, diabetic pen, pill bottles (empty, full, partially full, mystery bottles), receipts, action figures, business cards, spare Kleenex from his pockets, Old Spice deodorant and body spray, Dr. Pepper pop tops with codes for a Thor contest, spare change, mail (opened, unopened, mystery mail), lotions, ipod and headphones, lube, chap sticks, sleep mask, medication, stuffed animals, nasal spray, remotes, massagers, 2 pairs of glasses, candies, 2 wallets, keys, zip drives, Apple ID stuff, and any love note I have ever written him since we began dating almost 3 years ago.


I love him.




*While we told ourselves ages ago that the utility shelves were temporary, they have become more than sufficient for our needs and will likely be our nightstands until they turn to dust.

"This kind of talk will get you FOLLOWED..."

http://twitter.com/#!/mentions

I can't tell you how grateful I am that there are so many nerds like me out there.
xo
Thank you so much, new Twitter friends.

April 28, 2011

Landlady Says VOTE.

Our landlady is an older, take-no-shit kind of woman and she gets stuff done. She sends out a monthly memo reminding people in the complex when the rent is due and to generally stop being douchebags. That is why we love her.
Now we get to add 'Get democratic, Assholes' to the list.

Let's pretend there isn't a typo and let the goodness sink in... there we go...

Donna, you are excellent.

The Most Elaborate Stalking Ever.


The Most Elaborate Stalking Ever -- powered by Cracked.com

Greg Goes Hockey All Over Your Asses.

video

The sound is shitty pub-after-the-game quality, but I think his facial expressions really say it all... also, my laughter should never be that close to a microphone. Sweet Fancy Moses.

Not in Our Names.

https://zone.artizans.com/image/MAC2105/conservatives-demand-to-see-jack-laytons-birth-certificate/


Some people have asked why I am so invested in this particular election.

And they have ever right to be curious, for I have not always been this way.
While I have always been a huge fan of the more micro-politics of relationships and social structures, the macro-political interest waned. For most of my life I was Geo-politically ignorant, and then I became overwhelmed and willfully ignorant. I felt powerless, and getting involved in politics did nothing but reinforce that feeling.

So, why now?

Why get so involved now when it is clear that Canadians have exercised their right to maintain willful ignorance to the point that we may be the least powerful than any other time in history? (Don't believe me? Check out how many rules, laws, bi-laws, mandates, regulations, policies, etc we live under compared to a hundred years ago. It will shock you.)

It would be easy to chalk it up to be aghast at what Harper has done to us, but it is more personal than that.
I have realized that he has been doing this to us for FOUR YEARS and I had NO IDEA.
What the hell was I doing when he was fucking over our aboriginal communities, and sending detainees back to be tortured, and cutting off planned parenthood funding, and attempting to de-regulate banks, and cutting women's advocacy funding by 50%, and breaking campaign regulations to buy his way into parliament for the second time, and weakening regulations to protect us from pesticide carcinogens and GMOs, and then turning around and cutting the long form census down to only "pertinent details" because what do you need the people's information for when it is not in your design to govern for them anyway...?

What the hell was I doing?
Feeling powerless and pretending that I didn't realize it.

And I have a sneaking suspicion that too many others were as well, because if it wasn't for the other parties citing him for non-confidence of the House, would most of us even have realized what the hell he was doing over there?
When he didn't get his way, he fired people, fraudulantly hired others, prorogued parliament TWICE, shrouded numerous documentation, banned transcripts from meetings, and basically told the Canadian public to shut up and mind our own business. And we did.

And look at what the hell happened:

 
And it is my fault.
Not ALL my fault, but I was here... ignoring what he was doing to us.

Now, I am not going to get all maudlin and feel sorry for myself anymore than I am about to feel sorry for our country about this.  Sometimes timing is everything.
Because look what has happened:


On behalf of all Canadians, sir, I would like to thank you. You have done it! You have really done it. You’ve managed to get us interested in federal politics.

This campaign season began several weeks ago with you standing solemnly in an empty Parliament to dismiss a supposedly unwanted election — triggered, of course, by your government being held in contempt of Parliament — as something sure to disappoint Canadians. You didn’t pull this dismissal out of thin air: after all, the last election, held just a couple of years ago, had the lowest turnout in Canadian history; young people between eighteen and twenty-four stayed home in droves, with less than 40 percent bothering to vote. Your party subsequently wrote off the electorate, especially its youngest constituents, and your rivals seemed to agree — in this month’s televised debates, there was very little mention of any issues of interest to young people. It seems like you all assumed that young Canadians won’t vote because they don’t care, so why waste your breaths?

But something has happened. There has been a ground swell of engagement by Canadians of all ages. The internet is ablaze with political talk, more people watched the debates than the NHL playoffs, and on campuses across the country — during final exams — students are holding vote mobs. Vote mobs, Mr. Harper! The very Canadians you dismissed as apathetic, it turns out, aren’t after all. They are forming mobs, sir, and a mob is the next best thing to a riot.


We saw something like this in 2008 — i.e., an unprecedented number of young and discouraged voters becoming engaged in politics for the first time in their lives. The problem was that it happened in American politics, and it centred on the charisma of Barack Obama. The sexiness of the American presidential election only served to highlight the dullness and hollowness of our Canadian choices, further discouraging voters.

But all that is changing, Mr. Harper. Things are really turning around. There are mobs, sir! Mobs! And this exciting shift is largely thanks to you.

I would like to tell you that your own charisma is inspiring Canadians to become involved in this election. Or that one of your competitors is taking the country by storm with a message of hope and change. But, much like last time, this election is pretty much void of any charisma, save for one plucky challenger. Left wanting for something positive and hopeful, Canadians have found an equally powerful inspiration in response to what you lack. These vote mobs, this Facebook chatter, the viral videos, and potty-mouthed websites that show the increasing engagement of those young voters you dismissed are not partisan per se, but are united, instead, by a severe distaste for the Harper Government and the questionable ways it runs things. Canadians from all walks of life, from the Arcade Fire, to Margaret Atwood, to Joe Nobody, are lashing out against your five years of secrecy, contempt, and hypocrisy. Canadians are engaged in federal politics now more than they have been in a very long time, thanks to you. And it looks like many young Canadians will now decide to vote for the first time. But unfortunately for you, Mr. Harper, it will be for anyone other than yourself.


Best,

A voter"

This is what happened.  People got invested. I got invested.
Finally.
And it is a beautiful thing to witness. From all of us.

Miss USA Has TSA Pat-down in Dallas Airport That Borders on Molestation.



Indeed.  THIS is not a choice any human being should have to make.
This is terrible.

April 26, 2011

2011 NHL Playoffs: Game 7s Allovertheplace... cont.

"Trust Me."

ALBERTA SENATOR TOMMY BANKS: A Letter to the Voters of Canada.



"There is only one thing about the outcome of the May 2nd election on which Mr. Ignatieff and Mr. Harper agree.  It is that one of them will be the Prime Minister of Canada.  Mr. Layton, Mr. Duceppe and Ms. May are not in the running to form a government.  They can’t.  It will be either Mr. Ignatieff or Mr. Harper.

That is the choice, and it is a very clear – in fact, stark choice.  We will choose between openness or secrecy. Between listening or refusing to listen.  Between someone who respects Parliament or someone who disdains it. Between things we can and will do now or things that, (provided of course that everything goes well), we might do in five or six years.  Between someone who answers all questions from Canadians, or someone who won’t accept any.

Between Mr. Harper who said “It’s past time the feds scrapped the Canada Health Act”, or Mr. Ignatieff who said   “ . . . we don’t want user fees.  We want universal, accessible, free-at-the-point-of-service health care, paid out of general revenue.  That’s just bottom line.  Otherwise we get two-tiered”.

Between buying jets or helping vets.  Between real early childhood learning and care or Saturday-night babysitting.  Between respect for our great institutions or contempt for them.  Between helping families or helping big corporations. Between the Canada that we think we have, or the way in which Mr. Harper has already changed it.

Over the past few years Mr. Harper’s government has quietly engineered so many changes that there are some ways in which our country is barely recognizable.  Many of us don’t yet realize the extent of those changes, because many of them have been brought about very carefully and gradually – almost imperceptibly in some cases.

This is diabolically clever.  If these things had all been done at once, there would have been loud protests and reactions.  But moving just one little brick at a time doesn’t cause much fuss – until you realize that the whole house has been renovated.  And we’ve hardly noticed.

These are changes that are at the very heart of who and what Canadians are.  They are changes to the protections that used to exist against the tyranny of the majority – or against a single-minded my-way-or-the-highway autocrat.  These changes are losses to our very Canadian-ness.  Let me remind you of some of them:

The Law Commission of Canada was created by an Act of Parliament in 1997.  It worked very well. It kept an eye in a sort-of avuncular way, on necessary reforms of the law, including election law.  The Commission couldn’t actually change law; but it was very good at letting governments and everybody else know when changes needed to be made and why.  It was our legal Jiminy Cricket, and it performed a valuable service for Canada.  The Commission was created by an Act of Parliament, and any government wanting to shut it down should have been up-front about it.  It should have come to Parliament with a Bill to rescind The Law Commission of Canada Act.  That’s what any of our 21 previous Prime Ministers would have done.

But to Mr. Harper, Parliament is an inconvenience.  Somebody might ask “Why are you doing this?”   But he didn’t want to go through all that Parliamentary trouble; so, rather than proposing the abolition of the Commission (a proposal about which there would have been pretty fierce debate on all sides), they just eliminated all funding for it in the federal budget.  Governments can do that.  Poof – no Law Commission.

Nice and quiet.  Just one little brick.  Hardly noticed.

Then there was the Court Challenges Programme, set up in 1994, which was the means by which a bit of legal help could be provided to a private individual or small organization who didn’t have a lot of money, and who was taking on, or being taken on by, the Government of Canada.  It leveled the legal playing field a bit.  It was a perfect example of fundamental Canadian fairness.

By convincing a tough panel of judges of the reasonableness of your cause, you could get a little help in paying for some lawyers to go up against the phalanx of legal beagles that could always, and forever, and at public expense, be brought to bear against you by the State.  In other words, if you weren’t rich, and if you were taking on or being taken on by the Feds, you might have had a chance.  But Mr. Harper doesn’t like being questioned, let alone challenged.  It’s so inconvenient!  Solution?  Quietly announce that the Court Challenges Programme is being, er, discontinued.  Poof – no Court Challenges Programme – no court challenges.

Hardly noticed.

The Coordination of Access to Information Request System (CAIRS) was created (by a Progressive-Conservative government) in 1989 so that departments of government could harmonize their responses to access-to-information requests that might need multi-departmental responses.  It was efficient; it made sure that in most cases the left hand knew what the right hand was doing, or at least what they were saying; and it helped keep government open and accountable.  Well, if you’re running a closed-door government, that’s not a good idea, is it?  So, as a Treasury Board official explained to the Canadian Press, CAIRS was killed by the Harper government because “extensive” consultations showed it wasn’t valued by government departments.  I guess that means that the extensive consultations were all with government departments.

Wait!  Wasn’t there anybody else with whom to extensively consult?  Wasn’t there some other purpose and use for CAIRS?  Didn’t it have something to do with openness and accountability?  I guess not. Robert Makichuk, speaking for Mr. Harper’s government, explained that “valuable resources currently being used to maintain CAIRS would be better used in the collection and analysis of improved statistical reporting”.

Right.  In other words, CAIRS was an inconvenience to the government.  So poof – it’s disappeared.  And, except for investigative reporters and other people who might (horrors!) ask questions, its loss is hardly noticed.

And the bridge too far for me: Cutting the already-utterly-inadequate funding for the exposure of Canadian art and artists in other countries.  That funding was, by any comparison, already laughably miniscule.   Mr. Harper says that “ordinary” Canadians don’t support the arts.   He’s wrong.   And his is now the only government of any significant country in the world that clearly just doesn’t get it.

All these changes were done quietly, cleverly, and under the radar.  No fuss.  No outcry.  Just one little brick at a time.  But in these and other ways, our Canadian house is no longer the kind of place it once was. Nobody minds good renovations.  Nobody even minds tearing something down, as long as we put up something better in its place.  That’s not what has happened.

Mr. Harper fired the head of the Canadian Wheat Board because he was doing his job properly.  He removed the head of the Canadian Nuclear Safety Commission because she wanted to make sure that the Chalk River nuclear reactor was safe.

Hardly noticed.

There are many more things that were hardly noticed:  Cuts to funding for the Status of Women, Adult Learning and Literacy, Environmental Programs, museums funding, and more.  All quietly, just one brick at a time.

Hardly noticed.

As to campaign promises, everybody in sight on every side is guilty of breaking those.  Except the Federal NDP of course, who haven’t yet had the opportunity. (It’s very easy to make promises that you know you will not likely have to keep).

But the government promised to end wait times in health care.  They didn’t.  They promised to end, once and for all, the whining of some provinces about the non-existent “fiscal imbalance”.  They didn’t. They said they had brought final resolution to the softwood lumber problem with the U.S.  They haven’t.  They promised to create thousands of new child-care spaces in Canada.  They haven’t.  They promised not to tax income trusts (“We will NEVER do that!” they said).  They taxed them.  They promised to lower your income tax.

They raised it.

They said they had a good “made-in-Canada” plan to meet our obligations on climate change.  They don’t.  Mr. Harper has said plainly that whatever the Americans do is what we’ll do too.

They campaign on a platform of transparency and accountability; but they’re now trying to discredit the Parliamentary Budget Officer that they created, because he’s trying to do the job that they gave him. Mr. Harper said that our form of government, evolved over centuries from the 900-year-old British Westminster tradition, was all wrong.  We had to have fixed election dates, because otherwise, democratic principles would be trampled.  ”Fixed election dates”, he said, “stop leaders from trying to manipulate the calendar.  They level the playing field for all parties”.

So Parliament (remember them?) at Mr. Harper’s insistence, passed a law requiring fixed election dates, which Mr. Harper promptly broke.

Somebody once said that we get the kind of government we deserve.  What did we do to deserve Mr. Harper? He once said that we should all “Stand Up for Canada”.  Well, let’s do that.  We just have to decide whether the present version of Canada is the one that we’ll stand up for.  Or stand for.

Thank you,

Tommy Banks (an Alberta Senator.)"

The Real Mikey.

Lisa Lampanelli suggested her Twitter followers also follow RealMikey.


 So, I did.
And THIS is what I was bombarded with this morning:



Clearly, Mikey has suffered a break up, thinks he's funny, hate mornings, and doesn't understand simile.
Thanks, Queen of Mean.


UPDATE:

(Thanks for the tip, Anonymous.)



- And Anonymous (from comments) is correct; RealMikey's tweets are lame jokes you can easily find if you take five seconds to Google. They are lifted from bad joke forums and sites your grandparents would get a kick out of for ten minutes.
He is just embarrassing.
I don't understand his 100,000 followers, but I understand even LESS Lampanelli's desire to promote him.

- I also posted a comment on YouTube reminding him to take it easy when ripping off jokes for Twitter because he is liable to get busted and embarrass himself. It was promptly deleted.

- He must have taken my comment to heart, though, because he deleted the tweet linking the "Thank you" video from his Twitter.  Probably for the best.

2011 NHL Playoffs: Game 7s Allovertheplace.

Donald Trump Has Information on the Birther Issue, but Won't Tell You About It.



All I see is Rosie O'Donnell's Trump impression when he speaks.

"Birther" claims debunked in newest report: http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-20057596-503544.html

Fox News Edits Anderson Cooper in a Misleading Way. AGAIN.




My favourite comment:

"No, of course Hannity didn't knowingly edit the quote to mislead the audience. Fox News is fair and balanced and the pinnacle of journalistic integrity. Sure, I know it seems like every single day, every single Fox News Show says many misleading statements and shows many misleading­ly edited clips or quotes. But that doesn't mean it is a pattern. No. Just a series of totally unrelated coincidenc­es each and every day.

After all, if Fox was doing this on purpose it would totally go against Roger Ailes own memo's that state anyone caught doing something misleading or unfactual will be reprimande
d. And NOBODY has ever been reprimande­d. So clearly there is nothing to see here.

Fair and Balanced."

April 25, 2011

Of course. How stupid of me.




sigh.

Garry Shandling is a Gem.

http://twitter.com/#!/GarryShandling

SHAW CABLE PROCEEDS WITH USAGE-BILLING DESPITE PUBLIC PROTEST.

Shaw proudly proclaims that after consulting with users, they found that Canadian consumers were simply thrilled with the proposition to pay more for broadband services.
"Not one of the customers that came to these consultations said that if you charge more we will leave for a 'lesser performing' internet service," Shaw informed conference call attendees, adding that "customers have said we are prepared to pay more for a higher value of service." Shaw also proudly proclaimed that usage-based billing was "a win-win for our shareholders as well as our customers."

Except if Shaw had actually listened to Canadian consumers, they'd realize this wasn't what users were saying at all. Canadian consumers are well aware the new pricing isn't about fairness; it's about imposing steep new usage surcharges on all users,heavy and light, in order to offset the possible impact of Internet video on broadband revenues. Opposition to this pricing is unquestionably fierce among educated users.



Feel free to ensure you let Shaw know how you REALLY feel about usage based billing:

https://secure.opinionlab.com/ccc01/o.asp?id=jXantIlT


What would you like our Internet packages to look like?
"You already impose caps as low as 15 GB per month on Internet tiers and now you want to charge $5 per GB? I WOULD LIKE IT TO LOOK NOTHING LIKE THIS."

How can we create a better experience for our Internet customers?
"You can ask for my opinion before you instigate changes to my service.  You stated you wouldn't start charging steep per byte overages until you had engaged in "consulting sessions" with users, but I don't recall getting a phone call (on the phone line I purchase through Shaw), an email (which is registered with Shaw on Shaw internet) or a letter (alongside the bill you don't seem to have an issue mailing out each month). I have heard rumor you will begin this billing as early as July 1st, is this true? Because I would like to give my next service provider a head's up. Perhaps being a little more above board might have been the professional and respectable thing to do. "

And remember to sign the petition:


http://ht.ly/4GAqK 
http://www.dslreports.com/shownews/Shaw-Listens-Proceeds-With-UsageBilling-Anyway-113858?nocomment=1


UPDATE:

Participating to the NDP town hall meeting conference call and just asked Jack Layton about UBB. His response is that he has already officially rejected this proposal and has signed off on this numerous times, regardless of the Conservatives who have suggested that all parties have wavered on the issue. He even displayed a proposal to make broadband less expensive (though, due to my being on the phone, I was not able to see the proposal everyone applauded.)

Facebook Deactivated Me- Update.

"Hi,

We apologize for our delayed response to your inquiry. Unfortunately, due to high contact rates, we have not yet been able to investigate this report. If you have resolved this issue on your own or have already been assisted and the reported account is no longer disabled, please ignore this email.


Facebook has policies to stop behavior that other users may find annoying or abusive. Your account may have been suspended due to posted content that violates Facebook’s Statement of Rights and Responsibilities (this includes any obscene, pornographic, or sexually explicit photos, as well as any photos that depict graphic violence. We also remove content, photo or written, that threatens, intimidates, harasses, or brings unwanted attention or embarrassment to an individual or group of people).


If you think your account was disabled by mistake, please submit a new contact form by clicking on the link below:


http://www.facebook.com/help/?faq=13574#!/help/contact.php?show_form=disabled


Thanks for your understanding and your continued patience,

The Facebook Team"


Facebook deactivated me February 15th and they have not even LOOKED at my profile yet to determine if they had a valid reason to disable it in the first place. No pressure, Guys. Take your time. I've already forgotten I ever even had Facebook.
Fuck.

Also, they are disabling accounts if someone flags content as being "annoying"? Are you kidding me? If I had known that just sheer annoyance was enough of a reason to have people's facebook accounts cancelled, I would have reported Glenn Beck and the Westboro Baptist Church ages ago.

Funny, when Facebook deleted William Shatner's account, they seemed to rectify that mistake pretty fucking quick. 

Easter Puddin'.



Are you guys watching this yet?
Because if you can't appreciate the joy this brings to your life in one minute segments, five days a week then I don't think we can be friends anymore.

Classic Fallon: A History of Rap.




Have a great Monday, Guys.

April 22, 2011

Jessica Seinfeld "Interviews" Gwyneth Paltrow .



Sometimes you can’t believe people can be so far up their own asses, you can’t pull your eyes away.

Obama's Birth Certificate: The New Trump Chronicles.



Trump is on the case, y'all.  No worries.

http://www.fightthesmears.com/articles/5/birthcertificate


What am *I* missing?

In the 2008 presidential election, one of the men who made it through the primaries to vie for the highest office in the land was not born in the United States.
That man's name is John Sidney McCain.  The Republican senator was born in the Canal Zone in Panama.  It's not even in dispute; he wrote about it in his autobiography, Faith of My Fathers.
Unlike McCain, who never released his birth certificate to the media at large or to fact-checking organizations, the Obama campaign posted his on the Internet.  They even had people outside the campaign look over it and take pictures.

None of that seems to matter to Donald Trump, the real estate mogul who's become yet another Republican hopeful to question the president's citizenship.  Or to the base that he's pandering to.

Whether it's Glenn Beck equating Obama with Adolph Hitler or the tea party movement protesting the federal government's "tyranny," the language used on the conservatives' side is not the language of disagreement.  It's the language of rebellion, of fighting against what they believe to be "unconstitutional" (and therefore illegal) government.
In a nutshell, the most vocal part of the American conservative base believes that if you disagree with them, then you don't deserve to participate in our government.  And if you dare to vote anyway?  Then it's time for "Second Amendment remedies," from conservatives who are "armed and dangerous."

Lest you think it's a joke, right-wing paramilitary groups openly boast of their plans to overthrow the government, should it become too progressive for them.  And conservative bullies often bring guns to peaceful political rallies, then accuse their opponents of being "afraid of an armed American population."  One which threatens to use its ammo boxes to get its way, if the ballot box fails its agenda.

The largest percentages of Americans who don't believe that Obama's a citizen, by far, are found in the South.  Perhaps the children of secession and segregation know something that the rest of America does not; perhaps they alone have considered the evidence dispassionately, and are lonely voices of reason in these troubled times.
Or maybe there's another, more obvious reason.  And maybe their solution, if they don't get their way, will be the same as it was last time.

This issue was laid to rest by numerous accredited fact checking organizations in 2008.
That's right.
2008.



<< In June, the Obama campaign released a digitally scanned image of his birth certificate to quell speculative charges that he might not be a natural-born citizen. But the image prompted more blog-based skepticism about the document's authenticity. And recently, author Jerome Corsi, whose book attacks Obama, said in a TV interview that the birth certificate the campaign has is "fake."

We beg to differ. FactCheck.org staffers have now seen, touched, examined and photographed the original birth certificate. We conclude that it meets all of the requirements from the State Department for proving U.S. citizenship. Claims that the document lacks a raised seal or a signature are false. We have posted high-resolution photographs of the document as "supporting documents" to this article. Our conclusion: Obama was born in the U.S.A. just as he has always said. >>



30 Minutes or Less Red Band Trailer.



“Sometimes fate pulls out its big old cock and slaps your right in the face.”

Happy Good Friday.


Always a classic.  Jesus was from a village, right?


No offense intended.

Jacks, Your Blog Makes Me Type Dirty Things.



It's 2011's "punani".

April 21, 2011

PMS Tweets.

My father's right. I do tweet like a sociopath when I am PMSing.






The Solidarity Rock Benefit & Gear Drive.

The parking spot I scored at the airport when picking up LePage.


Just a note to say that today is Thirsty Thursdays and we are heading down to the Crown & Anchor for an extra special cause tonight.  The Solidarity Rock Benefit & Gear Drive is to benefit rock & roll artists and the music community in Cuba.
They are looking for some solid instrument donations to send down to Cuba in May. If you've got an old guitar, bass, drum heads, sticks, guitar and bass strings, cables, mics... etc.... they will take it and put it in the hands of people who need it.

Oh, and did I mention there will be bands?

THE FIGHT
FREE ELLIOTT
BOMBCHAN
OLD SINS

Always a great time at the Crown, but now it can be a great night for Cubans as well.
;)

Here's Your Daily Karaoke Meltdown.

"My dad..."

A Twitter friend posted the greatest picture I have seen all day:

http://twitter.com/#!/luzar

Boyfriend Watches Girlfriend Get Murdered on Webcam.



Toronto Police say Qian Liu, a 23-year-old Chinese national studying English at York University, was killed Friday morning when she let an unidentified man into her room while chatting online with her boyfriend in Beijing.
The boyfriend told police there was a knock at Liu’s door around 1 a.m. ET Friday and a man asked to borrow her cell phone.
The boyfriend witnessed “a struggle between the deceased and the man,” according to police, before the suspect shut off her computer and stole the laptop. Also stolen were the webcam she was using to chat with her boyfriend and her cell phone.
The boyfriend, who police have not publicly identified, immediately took to the internet to raise people he knew in Canada who could alert the police. He contacted Liu’s family in Beijing who called the Chinese consulate in Toronto. But it was almost 10 hours after the intruder knocked on the door that police finally entered Liu’s apartment and found the woman dead.


GO: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/toronto/accused-in-york-womans-death-a-student-politician-at-university-worked-for-ngo/article1994393/

Puddin'- Facebook.

April 18, 2011

Best Resume Ever.

 

Terje Sorgjerd captures the Milky Way.


The Mountain from Terje Sorgjerd on Vimeo.

Landscape photographer Terje Sorgjerd scaled Pico del Teide, Spain´s highest elevation, to capture footage of the Milky Way atop “one of the best places in the world to photograph the stars.”

Incredible.

Tea Party activist Marilyn Davenport Sends Email Depicting Obama as a Monkey, but It's Okay Because She Has Black Friends.

"Also, your mother's a whore. HA!  Hilarious..."


Orange County Republican Party central committee member and Tea Party activist Marilyn Davenport sent out a “joke e-mail” to other local GOPers with the above image attached under the words “Now you know why no birth certificate.”
 
Not surprisingly, some recipients found it to be in poor taste. “It is dripping with racism and it does not promote the type of message Orange County Republicans want to deliver to the public,” OC Republican Party chairman Scott Baugh told OC Weekly. “I think she should consider stepping down as an elected official.” (Why do I not completely trust them?)

Meanwhile, Davenport doesn’t get why this is a big deal. “Everybody who knows me knows that I am not a racist. It was a joke. I have friends who are black,” she said in a phone interview. (And we all know that having one black friend in your back pocket gives you unlimited license to be as crass and defaming about a certain race as you'd please.)

In a follow-up e-mail ostensibly apologizing to fellow OC Republicans for the previous correspondence Davenport reiterated her naivete. “I simply found it amusing regarding the character of Obama and all the questions surrounding his origin of birth,” she wrote, adding that she has no intention of resigning her position over something “the average person knows and agrees is much to do about nothing.”

Longtime conservative Orange Country Republican activist Tim Whitacre came to Davenport’s defense, saying “Marilyn believes that nobody knows where he was born and so this picture says a thousand words.”

I suppose I can’t argue with that.

Breach of Decency.



Richard Metzger @ Dangerous Minds recently received a rather puzzling e-mail from Facebook, informing him that a photo his site posted on Facebook had been removed for violating “Facebook’s Statement of Rights and Responsibilities,” which prohibits “shares that contain nudity, or any kind of graphic or sexually suggestive content.”

The photo in question? Two men kissing (above).

It gets worse: the photo was associated with a post on his site concerning a London-based “kiss-in” organized to protest the mistreatment of two gay patrons of The John Snow pub — a protest which originated on Facebook. The John Snow protest page has since been removed as well.

Facebook, by the way, does not respond to violation reports with an automatic removal, or so they say.  According to the Facebook Help Center, an administrator “looks into each report thoroughly in order to decide the appropriate course of action,” only removing the offending content if a violation has occurred.

So make of that what you will.

Happy Monday.

Women.

April 16, 2011

Record Store Day. (Because it's Not a Starbucks Yet.)

http://www.recordstoreday.com/Home

Since it started in 2007, this event has caught on as a nationwide celebration of the little neighborhood shop and a reminder of how important it is to music.  In this age of the digital download, it's easy to forget how awesome it is to wander through the aisles of a record store and discover a band you might not have found on an iTunes best-sellers list.

A bunch of artists have put together limited-edition Record Store Day releases available only at participating stores (I'm totally coveting the Andrew Bird/Loney Dear 7" and the previously unreleased Flight of the Conchords songs).  In addition, cool events are taking place at stores around the country today — for example, the independent store in my neighborhood, Permanent Records, has Christian Hansen playing. 

I dig the convenience of digital music, but I adore independent record stores for the character, the composition, and the human element that is so important to me.  So take a stroll today and see what interesting events are happening where you are.

And if you are in Edmonton, later on swing by the Pile Up Art Show

April 13, 2011

Ricky Gervais Makes Fun of Louis CK.



In this video, Ricky Gervais makes fun of Louis CK for making a fool of himself in front of John Oates of Hall and Oates. If you need more information than that in order to get you to watch this video, I don't know what you're doing on here.

"Wake the Fuck Up."

Kyle Cease sent this call-to-arms out for anyone who is feeling stuck or dis-empowered by the state of the world right now, whether that be the US turmoil or the Canadian electorate apathy or the tragic disharmony around the world.  I was lucky enough to have him send it to me. Please watch this. It is beautiful.




And this is a beautiful reponse video from a man who is having the exact reaction that I hope everyone is having after watching that:



I will now assume the "get off the internet" message was especially directed at me and shut this down for a while.

Loves, Guys.

Your Choice, Your Vote: May 2, 2011.

From site: http://voteagainstapathy.blogspot.com/


WATCH, PLEASE: 

SHIT HARPER DID.

Did you guys watch the debates last night? I LiveTweeted it because I am a huge nerd that way. It solidified my estimation that Stephen Harper is a deceptive egomaniac. In additional to my already obvious bias when it comes to our Conservative Party right now, here is a site for your amusement:


The kitten really brings the theme together, don't you think?


GO: http://www.shitharperdid.com/

UPDATE:

April 12, 2011

Favstar.

How did I not know about this:  http://favstar.fm/

http://favstar.fm/users/Arbitral


I owe people a hug.  I feel like an ass for not "Favorite"-ing enough people.  My way of showing love has been retweeting and replying.  Keep this in mind when surfing the Twitterverse.  =)

Puddin': Calvin Klein.

 Puddin' is a live action single panel comic, updated Monday -Friday.





Consider it an homage for Global. ;)

Boat Benefit WIN.

Today is a slow day so here is another reason why all Bills are awesome:





Here is another (a classic):

Baby Shoots Dad With Gun.



See?  This is why I hate babies.

April 11, 2011

Global TV: Mike Sobel Calls Woman a Dyke While Camera Was Still Rolling.




(So, from what I understand, he decided that a female Facebook viewer who had commented that a female anchor looked "especially gorgeous lately" must be a "dyke".)


Apology: http://www.globaltvedmonton.com/Morning+News+Apology/4596962/story.html




This is how YOU all found my blog post. I didn't push this issue on you. Please remember this.


*COMMENTS HAVE NOW BEEN DISABLED FOR THIS POST. SOME OF THE COMMENTS WERE ENCOURAGING VIOLENCE AND WERE BECOMING INSULTING TO THOSE INVOLVED. THANK YOU FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING AND WE CAN ALL MOVE ON FROM THIS NOW. *

Chicks With Steve Buscemeyes.




This will leave your soul shivering.
GO: http://chickswithstevebuscemeyes.tumblr.com/

The Best of the Last 2 Years of FAILS.



Because people falling is funny, that's why.

April 10, 2011

What Men Really Need to Know.




1. Never ask a woman if she wants to have sex by asking her if she wants to have sex.

2. It is more important to have good health than good health insaurance.

3. Don't bluff more than once in a poker game with friends.

4. When one of the big bosses at work unexpectedly says something really cheery and friendly to you, he means absolutely nothing by it. Not even if he's your father.

5. Wear as much black as you can. It makes you look slimmer and cooler. But avoid black jeans.

6. When someone in your family is going through a divorce, always side with the blood relative.

7. Pointedly praising something unusual a person owns or has done will make you appear far smarter in his eyes than a 10-minute discourse on world events.

8. Yes, speak softly and carry a big stick. But don't mumble. And don't swing the stick.

9. The man who can't dance, can't converse, and can't provide psychological support to a woman is only half a man; the other half can't cook, can't clean, and badly wants a drink.

10. Do not get a visible tattoo larger than your penis.

11. Be aware that most people are operating on a very condensed version of the 10 Commandments: the part about murder.

12. There will be times when good neighbors are more important than a good neighborhood.

13. Telling a woman, "You're a great person," is taken as the lead-in to a confession that you don't love her.

14. Trying to "teach someone a lesson" never works.

15. Easy on the mayo.

16. Be careful about publicly discussing your hobbies, as most hobbies strike people as somewhat pathetic: most notably, collecting stamps, comics, coins or anything else, bird-watching, bowling, rockhounding, spelunking, table tennis, poetry, dog shows, chat rooms, polka music, yoga, herpetology, marathon running, and religion. The only hobbies you can safely own up to when among people you need to impress are fly-fishing and golf.

17. Never buy a woman a gift at a kiosk.

18. Never wear clothing that your coworkers avoid—the bow tie, the suspenders, the green suit. While you might think you're expressing your individuality, your colleagues will perceive it as a rejection of their group culture; you'll become a person who probably can't be trusted.

19. Do not bring lunch to work.

20. Rainbows are God's way of reminding us that beauty is an optical illusion, except in sports cars.

21. You will never become a rock star.

22. As you go through life, you will discover that more and more of the subjects you studied in college are useless, with the exception of abnormal psychology.

23. Never make any sort of generalization concerning gender, even if it's so true God himself would back you up.

24. Telling a person in management, "I'm a bit of a philosopher," means you're a total loser.

25. When running in the park on a hot day, do not take off your shirt if you are a really hairy sonofabitch.

26. Never hesitate to admit the error of your ways when under oath in federal court.

27. Always wear freshly laundered or pressed clothing to work. Even one wrinkle will have certain coworkers creating—and perhaps sharing—scenarios of debauchery or financial distress.

28. Do not say hi to a perfect stranger in any town with a population over 2,000. The friendly gesture in Beaver Dam Falls is a scary act of aggression in Toronto.

29. Always imply, in every possible way, that the person you're talking to is smarter, better-looking, slimmer, and more successful than they really are.

30. When choosing a bottle of wine to bring to a dinner party, spend between 15 and 20 dollars. That's for a bottle, not a gallon.

31. Do not come on to the new female pastor, unless she winks at you during the sermon.

32. When dating, an ounce of appearance is worth a pound of substance.

33. The way a woman looks, acts, and talks says nothing about how good she is in bed.

34. It is okay to admit in conversation that your accountant used his imagination to save you $500 in taxes, but never admit you saved 5 bucks by refilling the vodka bottle in the minibar with water.

35. Never get into a pissing match via e-mail. If he forwards, you lose.

36. Never suggest to another person at the gym that he's not working hard enough to accomplish anything.

37. People who live in glass houses are idiots.

38. Going insane while watching a hockey game is a sign of mental health.

39. When a man meets another man, bonding begins when they both say things they hope no one else hears.

40. The person who sincerely says to you, "I want to get to know you better," is a person you probably don't want to know at all.



From blog post: http://arbitral.livejournal.com/233787.html

Harper Government 3: "What the fuck? Are you insane?"

April 9, 2011

PILE UP: An Art Show for People Who Like Art.

Poster Courtesy of Greg Tymofichuk.


One of Greg's best friends Nate is putting on an art show with music, painting, sketching, burlesque, fashion, film, and photography.  It will be wet and it will be wild.

Maybe not that wet. But wild.
And Whiskey-y... since Whiskey Wagon will be playing.


SEE YOU THERE.

"I Don't Know What You've Been Told..."

Oh, Saturday... finally a day to sit down and make a coherent entry that doesn't revolve around finding the asinine and outrageous memes on the internet.




It is an odd circle of life, my blog.
I first started a blog before the days of the social networking monster... there was no MySpace, no Friendster, no Facebook, no Twitter.  The only way for me to contact my family in Alberta was either to write them all emails/ letters from BC telling them of my adventures, or writing a blog that they could check at their leisure and save me a tonne of time and trouble.  It didn't just tell my tales of being broke and learning loneliness and relating the trouble I was getting into, I also found it delightful to share the internet gems that I had unearthed in my daily surfing.  At one point, I even had a Check-It-Of-the-Day segment with links to things that made me smile or cringe.




Enter Facebook.  A much much more efficient way to share videos, blogs, pictures, articles, and news pieces that I thought my friends & family would enjoy.  I became the girl that always had something crazy posted to Facebook by 10am for the amusement of my friends, as well as friends of friends, and we could start our days with a *facepalm* or fun story to share with co-workers.
I enjoy the outrageous, and apparently, many others do as well.  We all enjoyed our Facebook experiences like crazy.

So, I neglected my blog.

I began utilizing Facebook for my outlet of idiocy and kept my blog for more personal stories.  But I have never really been one to sit down and log my happiness.  I will be more likely to write out my sadness and discontent like a runner blasting through the stresses of the day.  Who wants to waste the great parts of your life by sitting back and documenting it?  You can usually spot an unhappy person right away: they write about themselves ad nauseam and it always feels like they are hoping that if they write enough words, the depression will exhaust itself.
See: http://arbitral.livejournal.com/

So, long story short, my new blog was full of personal gems, though they were few and far between.  My Facebook, however, was lit up like the fourth of July.
Until I got kicked off.

I have a brash sense of humour, a sharp wit, and a dirty mouth.  This is no surprise to anyone who knows me.  But I am also extremely kind with people and am loathe to hurt feelings if I can help it.  Sometimes, though, people put me in the position of having to say "Fuck off. You are being an asshole" and I have very little issue saying so.  I know when someone is being manipulative or intentionally hurtful and I will put an end to it as soon as I can.  This happened with the celebrated Republican incident and got me kicked off Facebook.  Well, I assume it did.  The rest of my normal bullshit had been going on for four years, I hesitate to think that it took Facebook that long to notice that I regularly make off-colour jokes about not being "homophobic because most of my friends are black."

So, kicked off, I had nowhere to go.  I had a Twitter I barely understood the operations of, and a neglected blog.  While Twitter has been a lovely time waster, it is limiting for things like linking stories, posting pictures, and getting verbose (which I am sometimes wont to do).  What a fine time to resurrect the blog in all of it's ridiculous glory!

And now here I am, ten years later, with a blog that looks pretty much exactly as it did when I started my first one... a bunch of videos, articles, pictures, internet memes, movie trailers, Twitter updates, all punctuated with mini updates on my daily life (the updates that are no doubt the least entertaining of all of them).  I feel badly sometimes about the lack of REAL updates, but I feel about lengthy blog updates like I do two hour cinematic period pieces; I may have 2 hours of my life to devote to something amazing, but it is far more likely that I will have 12 ten minute segments that inevitably lend themselves to 'hey! check out the new Beastie Boys' short movie trailer!' updates instead. I am also more likely to text than email, email than write a postcard, write a postcard than compose a letter, compose a letter than place a phone call, etc etc etc.
Blame my deteriorating attention span if you will... I prefer to blame my blissed out life that I never feel like pausing.





So, here it is: my update.  I have been spending much of the week loving up & hanging with Greg, commenting on the fantastic weather, drinking mini keg Tartan Keith's with friends, listening to music, Tweeting and making new friends, reading, making foods (Star Wars pancakes!), taxes (ewww, let's not mention that part), and mentally preparing for the LePage's arrival from Halifax next week.  =)  Exciting.





I miss breakfasts with Shawn, though.  So I think I will email him today and set up a date for tomorrow morning.  Because while Facebook and Twitter and blogging are fun and easy, there is nothing like a Thursday night at the Crown with friends, a sushi evening with Greg, a lunch date with my Dad, a coffee at Second Cup with Amber, a hockey game with the family, or a 4 hour breakfast date with Shawn.




xo Bee