Unfortunately, S, few people give a crap about anyone other than themselves. They end up inconvenienced, see it as a personal slight, and then end up miserable. Worse, they often then go out and either retaliate, or inflict their misery on others around them, thus spreading the misery, all because someone could not think about other people, and then it spread all down the line.
This is known as the "perpetuation of misery" - and relies on the mistaken belief that making someone feel bad will make us feel better. It does not.
More commonly, the people that wilfully take part in the "perpetuation of misery" do so because they believe that everyone else thinks like they do, and therefore does the same to them. They rarely stop to think that there might be a genuine reason for the decisions you make, and that you might be balancing their needs with the needs of other parties they are not aware of. They don't stop to think you are a reasonable person - because they are normally not a reasonable person themselves. Rather, they will make up in their own minds that you are a monster, and therefore justify any perpetuation of misery against you.
The people that do not do this are very rare indeed, and are slowly becoming a dying breed.
As a reader of my own website, you are no doubt aware that in my most recent article, I vented steam about saying goodbye to some friends of mine, including one who had been annoying me for a while. You can find this article at http://www.da-vane.com/taking-time-out/
This is a classic example of the type of person you are dealing with who assumes the worst and fully participates in the "perpetuation of misery." The friend recently contacted me over said article, threatening litigation for libel over the contents of the article. Libel, if you do not know, is defined as 'Wilfully published lies designed to defame an intended party and tarnish their reputation.'
His argument is based on a lot of assumptions which are not valid, yet he's taken these assumptions to be given truths. He's already made his judgement, come to his conclusion, and is reading the evidence based on this. As far as he is concerned, there is my perception and then there is the objective truth.
Few people understand that the world doesn't work this way. There is no objective truth in society. Everybody's perceptions are subjective, and we work by making judgements based on those perceptions. Yet, few are willing to even credit their opponents perceptions as existing, let alone having any merit, nor are they willing to even take into account their own perceptions may be flawed or incomplete. These people are rarely reasonable, because they build up their world view so that they do not have to reason with people. Instead, they are simply looking for excuses and proof to dismiss their opponents as unreasonable, and this is a lot easier to do when you already assume they are monsters in the first place.
Those few that do treat their opponents as reasonable, by treating their opponents as human beings just like they are, are extremely rare indeed. This is what makes such people AWESOME. The moment you stop being reasonable, you stop being AWESOME. Many people dislike reasonable people for this purpose, unless they too are reasonable.
Sheena, you are amazing. Can you write every letter/email for me when I have things to say? We need you in politics, too! We should pimp you out. Also, do you do resumes? ;) Kidding.
Oh god, I HOPE, HOPE, HOPE that they are utterly mortified.
I HOPE that they are scared shitless of having to be made financially accountable.
I HOPE this person did this in a moment of pure stupidity and that this is out of character for them.
More often than not, these days, people like that often feel no remorse, on the contrary, they paint themselves victims and use that to justify their actions. Either way, GREAT letter! They will be feeling eyes on them now, whenever they walk between their car and their apartment and THAT is awesome.
I too have had my car keyed. For what? I can not tell you. the mark travels from the middle of the front door to the middle of the panel over the back wheel. On the passenger side. I rarely, if ever get in from that side. I'm always courteous in how close i park to others as I've owned a 2 door car with surfboards for doors and know how difficult it can be to get in and out. Meh who knows. I would prosecute him just because you have the chance. Mount their head on a pike as it were for all others to see.
5 comments:
FUCK YEAH.
That was brilliant! Keep us updated!
Unfortunately, S, few people give a crap about anyone other than themselves. They end up inconvenienced, see it as a personal slight, and then end up miserable. Worse, they often then go out and either retaliate, or inflict their misery on others around them, thus spreading the misery, all because someone could not think about other people, and then it spread all down the line.
This is known as the "perpetuation of misery" - and relies on the mistaken belief that making someone feel bad will make us feel better. It does not.
More commonly, the people that wilfully take part in the "perpetuation of misery" do so because they believe that everyone else thinks like they do, and therefore does the same to them. They rarely stop to think that there might be a genuine reason for the decisions you make, and that you might be balancing their needs with the needs of other parties they are not aware of. They don't stop to think you are a reasonable person - because they are normally not a reasonable person themselves. Rather, they will make up in their own minds that you are a monster, and therefore justify any perpetuation of misery against you.
The people that do not do this are very rare indeed, and are slowly becoming a dying breed.
As a reader of my own website, you are no doubt aware that in my most recent article, I vented steam about saying goodbye to some friends of mine, including one who had been annoying me for a while. You can find this article at http://www.da-vane.com/taking-time-out/
This is a classic example of the type of person you are dealing with who assumes the worst and fully participates in the "perpetuation of misery." The friend recently contacted me over said article, threatening litigation for libel over the contents of the article. Libel, if you do not know, is defined as 'Wilfully published lies designed to defame an intended party and tarnish their reputation.'
His argument is based on a lot of assumptions which are not valid, yet he's taken these assumptions to be given truths. He's already made his judgement, come to his conclusion, and is reading the evidence based on this. As far as he is concerned, there is my perception and then there is the objective truth.
Few people understand that the world doesn't work this way. There is no objective truth in society. Everybody's perceptions are subjective, and we work by making judgements based on those perceptions. Yet, few are willing to even credit their opponents perceptions as existing, let alone having any merit, nor are they willing to even take into account their own perceptions may be flawed or incomplete. These people are rarely reasonable, because they build up their world view so that they do not have to reason with people. Instead, they are simply looking for excuses and proof to dismiss their opponents as unreasonable, and this is a lot easier to do when you already assume they are monsters in the first place.
Those few that do treat their opponents as reasonable, by treating their opponents as human beings just like they are, are extremely rare indeed. This is what makes such people AWESOME. The moment you stop being reasonable, you stop being AWESOME. Many people dislike reasonable people for this purpose, unless they too are reasonable.
Stay AWESOME, S.
Sheena, you are amazing. Can you write every letter/email for me when I have things to say? We need you in politics, too! We should pimp you out. Also, do you do resumes? ;) Kidding.
Oh god, I HOPE, HOPE, HOPE that they are utterly mortified.
I HOPE that they are scared shitless of having to be made financially accountable.
I HOPE this person did this in a moment of pure stupidity and that this is out of character for them.
More often than not, these days, people like that often feel no remorse, on the contrary, they paint themselves victims and use that to justify their actions. Either way, GREAT letter! They will be feeling eyes on them now, whenever they walk between their car and their apartment and THAT is awesome.
J
I too have had my car keyed. For what? I can not tell you. the mark travels from the middle of the front door to the middle of the panel over the back wheel. On the passenger side. I rarely, if ever get in from that side. I'm always courteous in how close i park to others as I've owned a 2 door car with surfboards for doors and know how difficult it can be to get in and out. Meh who knows. I would prosecute him just because you have the chance. Mount their head on a pike as it were for all others to see.
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