I woke up before I actually died and spent the next hour laying in bed with this running through my head:
So, yeah. Good luck getting back to sleep.
Here are some things I found entertaining while too awake to sleep and too sleepy to do anything productive:
I could totally do that.
|"That's a God damned bacon rainbow, Bitches."|
And just in case it was a deal breaker for any future fake online relationships:
A WORLD MAP OF AVERAGE BREAST SIZES:
God damn you, Russia.
And this clip is from a documentary called Married to the Eiffel Tower, about a woman who has love affairs with inanimate objects, like bridges, and her bows (she’s an archer). She's tried dating human men, but they just can't compete.
FILMMAKER: When you say you date these guys, does it mean that you have sex with them?
BRIDGE F*CKER: Oh, no. We never get to that point. Often times, they would say I’ll be the guy who will change your mind. And I never liked that attitude. I mean, I didn’t date a whole lot of guys, but the ones that I did, didn’t work out, simply because of the sex part.